Stopped the bleeding....What now?

[Accuray]

Hi CaliDreaming. Usually when you get these statements that the marriage is over it's because your wife has been in a relationship with someone else, in either an emotional affair or a physical one. It usually takes that to give them the courage to tell you they are done.

While they still feel in love with someone else, trying to reverse your lack of attention will work against you, because what she wants right now is distance. You really can't start making progress until the other person is "gone for good" and enough time has passed to let them grieve the loss of that relationship.

During that period, really your goal is to (1) not make things worse between you, (2) maintain your self esteem, and (3) establish and protect your boundaries in terms of what you will and will not accept.

The DB coaches often do recommend "butterfly touches" as you pass by your spouse to get them back into the mode of getting used to being touched by you, but you have to gauge the reaction, if it's recoil, you might want to back off again.

Have you read DivorceBusting or the DivorceRemedy? If not, you should!

Acc