Jon, you sound very, very angry about the A. You seemed really happy when your W returned, and ready to forgive everything. But not now. So my question is this- are you SURE it's the A that you're mad about, or are you just dredging old stuff back up to justify your anger? Could the real reason for your anger be something else? Did you perhaps load yourself up with expectations of how smoothly the piecing process would go and now you're getting frustrated because it ain't the smooth sailing you hoped for? Only you can answer this and I don't pose this to you expecting a 10 second response, but rather to make you seriously think and dig for a few days.
As I posted on your FB post, I think your W came back way too soon. She hasn't completed the journey she needs to make, and in fact may not have even started it yet. There's still a lot of internal dialog that needs to take place within her.
