Woody's Rise

[woody112]

I haven’t posted here in a little while, but I visit daily to read and learn as much as I can from the people here. I’ve been hesitant to update my sitch because I know people would caution me to be careful. So, I’ve been doing the careful thing on my own.

My W was very hard on me between Thanksgiving and Christmas, but something has changed inside of me and I no longer feel the need to get defensive. I still get frustrated, but I refuse to throw up those walls that I’ve hidden behind for so long. She did a lot of venting… and I did a lot of listening (I use to be the worst listener on the planet). Just when I thought things were going backwards she says to me “You really do like me, don’t you? I’ve been so hard on you lately, but you’re still here being a good friend to me.” Things have really improved since she said that.

So, Positive changes in Me:

• I cleaned up my potty mouth. I never realized how a simple change like this could affect my whole self. The ugly words are replaced by kind words, which oddly enough carried over to good behaviors replacing bad ones. Seriously, this has had a huge impact on how others view me as well as how I feel about myself.
• I’m done making excuses.
• I’m done pretending to be someone I’m not.
• I’ve stopped being the guy that asks his W how he can help. My eyes are open and I am fully engaged. No more Mr. Passive.
• I’m learning how to be the leader of my family. I never knew how much she has wanted to be able to lean on me. This has been a huge focus for me.
• I am also bent on making sure my children break the cycle of dysfunction that has plagued my family.
• I am working on a plan to become a better Husband, Father, and Friend.

Positive changes in the M:

• W hasn’t gone out with GFs in over a month.
• W has gone out on several “dates” with me.
• W sits with me at church.
• W referred to me as her “husband” on several occasions.
• We hug and touch each other freely. W does complain that I don’t kiss her enough, which is kind of a good thing.
• ML a couple of times. We need to work on this…
• The children are getting to see mom and dad be affectionate toward each other. Our younger ones may not have ever seen this before. I can’t even describe how this has affected them and the general mood of the household.
• W told me to get a passport just in case she wins her company’s trip incentive.
• W calls me several times a day. As to not go back to my old habit of not showing her I care about her (by not calling her), I occasionally text her that emoticon that looks like it’s whistling.
• More than anything we are acting like a true partnership for the first time in our M.

Life has been very good.