BH,

When you do talk with MIL, stick with FIL's health as the subject. If MIL brings up W and her OM situation, ask her to stop as it is between them.

Why are you packing your house? What's up with that? Don't move out of your own house. Stick to your own guns on this one.

Try not to speculate or mind read what W does or doesn't do. It just takes up energy and wasted space in your head.