MrBond, Im not surprised the C told me I am a rescuer just didn't think of it in quite those terms.
Just keep in mind that rescuer constantly lets the victim (W) know that he thinks she can't do anything. And because you're afraid to let her fall, see her hurt, you aren't allowing her to live her life.
Stand back, show her you believe she can do things without you.
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Let me ask you though. Is making sure my credit rating stays at a good level by paying bills that we have that she obviously cant help with wrong? I know that 50% of these bills are her responsibility but if she cant pay them the credit card companies don't care they still need paid. How could I handle this in a different way so that I don't look like a safety net?
You are still married? Is there a legal separation? Is she actively looking for a job? I don't know that there is a different way because this all seems to be marital debt created by a still married couple.
Just let this play out, continue to do as your C suggests and see how it plays out.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
