No, i understood what you were saying i think. I dont think there is something wrong with me (present tense) because i picked h. But i am making darn sure that wont be a pattern and i dont blame myself at all for having been who i was then.

If i hadnt married him and he hadnt left i might not have ever known that something was wrong with me, it just might have all had to happen in the order it did.

I think your wording is something ive seen elsewhere when women marry abusers or addicts, who may wrongly blame themselves, but the difference is in finding and healing the damage that was certainly there.

Adinva 51, S20, S18
M24 total
6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out
9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50
5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend
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Happiness is a warm puppy.