D ASAP Get her to agree to settement so she will sign the house over to me so I can remortgage. Sort out every little detail to do with kids.
I said I wanted go on Dissertion. He said it had to be 2 years. We are going on adultery. I said it may be tough sell for her to admit to that statement. I said she is stubborn but I bet he hears that quite a lot.
His advice was to D and then afterwards if need be sort out the child stuff. They are completely seperate. If I do both now I could end up dragging out the D for years with dissagreements, mediation and cost. She might not like something to do with kids and slow down the D and vice versa. Too many balls in the air. Get the divorce sorted with all financials. If she is still be awkward about the kids then do that part. Any sort of issue to do with the kids would have to go through mediation before the courts would entertain getting involved.
After talking with him I agree. As much as I would love to have this concrete agreement about the kids I certainly cannot afford to play games with her if I can help it at least until I'm financially stable.
In regards to the name, she can't legally change it without my permission. If she starts with the "known as" at school or nursery etc. Because I have 50% parental responsibilty I can phone the school and tell them I don't agree to the "known as" change and as the school won't want to get caught up in a legal matter this trivial that they don't have to they will keep using their legal names. I feel a lot better about this. I won't be going anywhere near this until D is finalized. She is could pull excuses from everywhere to make this difficult. At some point I need to tell her that her phone contract (currently paid for by the company I work for) is going to be cancelled. I can wait until after D So I'm going to.
He reckons it will take between 3-6 months. Depending on any speed bumps.
The next step is coming up with an agreement on the settlement with her. When she agrees he will draft a letter. It will mention the reasons (adultery), the settlement agreement and her handing over the rights to the house ASAP. I asked him to write the letter with as little blame and adultery pointing finger as possible. He said I am paying her more than she is entitled too but it is a good thing as she can't argue tit for tat because of the generous sum.
The stumbling blocks at this this stage are her agreeing to a figure and her also agreeing to adultery.
I came out of there feeling pretty good. The adultery will be a massive sell in my opinion.
I text W last night and told her "I think I can get 5k together" no reply yet.
Oh well the ball is rolling...
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
