One giant leap forward! - Part 10

[T1000]

UGH! You're getting drawn into the vortex again Don't let her redirect the conversation, just stick to the subject:

W: It cost £7 a month for a large bag of dry cat food. 35g a day each. I'm sure if you can afford to take (friend) out for dinner then you can afford to feed two cats. Priorities were never your strong point!

Me: The credit card we took out 22 months ago to pay for the windows has come out of it's promotional period. It's an extra £120 a month on top of the extra CSA iis taking off me. I can't afford to feed them anything.

I am not going to keep the cats any longer. If you don't want them then let me know and I will give them to a shelter.

W: How have you funded your nights out & your new girlfriend. Maybe you should start selling stuff like I've had to to cover my bills. And can I also remind you that you never paid me money for 3 months...saving yourself £900. Maybe you should have used that money to pay off a chunk of your credit card that paid for the windows to your house that you live in! Ask (friend) for some rent money.

Me: You have been on vacation twice in the last two months. I was offered a free week away but had to turn it down because I can't afford to pay for my own food. The credit card changed in October so it's more like £540 which doesn't make much of a dent in £11000. I've had the cats for 18 months now. I don't want them, I don't want to spend money I don't have on them and they desreve to be loved by someone who loves cats and that is never going to be me.

I am paying your support, beyond that my personal finances are my concern.

W: If that's the case then your shares and dividends will also be a joint asset...as well as everything in the house including the equipment under the stairs. As well as tv's, computers, projector and anything else you appear to have because after all I left with nothing. I have absolutely nothing to lose so carry on.

Me: Carry on what? I'm not trying to be funny. Your car is the only other major asset because it's wot=rth four figures. You want a quick divorce and an offer and I gave you one.

If we can't agree then we will resolve through our lawyers.

W: As I'm changing my name back just to let you know I'll be registering the kids under (her maiden name) too but keeping their legal name as (my name).

Me: What does tha mean?

I will discuss the ramifications with my lawyer.

Your W does not want to be friends with you, in fact she seems devoted to being as miserable, angry and mean to you as she possibly can. She pushes your buttons at every opportunity and revels in it when you respond in kind. So quit responding in kind! Be as businesslike, detached and unemotional with her as you can. I think it will be much better for your emotional well-being in the long run! I understand you're probably trying to placate her so you can get the most visition with the kids that you can, but it's NOT WORKING. She's using the kids against you at every opportunity. I would suggest that if you want to Skype with them, get it in the D paperwork. The only way she's going to give you an inch is if she's legally forced to.

I feel like I have justify myself for some reason and I need to stop it. I certainly don't have to justify myself to her.

In regards to the cats. I don't want them but I also don't want to put them in a shelter where they will most likely be put down. I struggle with it.