Set a text boundary.(I might have said this before) You will text with her about kid logistics and that's it. When it turns to anther subject you stop. "Have a good day wife. Can't talk about this now" and then let the L do her/his thing.
You both go on and on and nothing ever gets settled.
I feel for you but back off.
As soon as I feel stress from the conversation or I find it difficult to answer I need to duck out.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14