Bug, yes there was something seriously wrong with me that I picked H for an H. I was raised to expect nothing from my loved ones, to be very uncomfortable with expressions of love, to feel no needs, to be completely self sufficient because loved ones would only let me down if I needed them. I was not particularly emotionally grown up, and H was in my comfort zone because he wasn't either. I knew that going in but I was very naive and thought I could fix my own problems and that he'd fix his, and that it was just a maturity issue that would resolve with time. I thought I knew better because I had relied on my wits up til then and they served me well. I thought I could get by without outside help. I thought I was emotionally strong and could take on anything life could dish out. I thought my h was flawed but he was mine and he was too cheap and lazy to ever cheat on me or divorce me.
So yeah, it takes a messed up person to match themselves up with an emotional abuser.
I got better.
I wasn't asking that as an accusation, it was more a realization that you might be blaming yourself for choosing your H. I think my phrasing was inartful
I know you got better.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
