I know this sounds insane. I know I sound like a schitzo. Is it normal that after the high of yesterday's apparent progress, I start reminiscing over what happened last year and get frustrated with her? Even having second thoughts?
March 2013, I started saving for a surprise for her. I was going to take her to England this year for our 15th anniversary. I was proud I had reached a point in my life I could finally start saving money after some previous financial problems we faced. She always wanted to go. 2 months later she just stopped talking to me for an entire summer…it really hurt. The look in her eyes feels like a stranger. I don't trust her like I once did. I sacrificed so much and now I'm broker than I've ever been while she has spending money…do I really want to go back? Do I trust her? Have I spent so much time wishing she'd return I realize now I'm not forgiving her yet?
Right now I'm split between continuing with the course and selling the house, cashing out and moving on…Is this nuts? I feel nuts.
Resentment occurs when we aren't doing what we need to care for ourselves, though we expect others to do it for us.
