@love - nothing I did led to an affair. Did my behavior contribute to marital problems? absolutely. Did it justify an A? NEVER. I treated my spouse great. I paid off her debt when I met her because she was living off credit cards. I paid off the car she drives. When she mistreated D13 (then D10) I made excuses for her. When she shopped incessantly, I simply gave her a credit card. When she laid in bed 18 hours a day, I said, "Well,she has issues.". When she overdosed on Vicodin, and I talked her into taking ipecac before I called 911, I never said a word. She is not worth it.
Again, I guess I'm one of the lucky ones. My W describes herself as a "momentary whore", and she never developed anything other than a minor friendship with OM. She said the two-time PA was disgusting, and worthless, and made her feel dead inside, but that is further evidence, that there is something wrong emotionally outside of marital issues.
So, I told W, I would leave, leave her alone, and not force any requirements on her. I just wanted the stuff I had left at her apartment; but I can't even get a response.
