The one that spoke to me today was "today I will own my every choice." That's good because I get in a bad spot feeling buffetted by events outside my control. I have a lot more control than that would suggest, because I control my every choice and I can make lots of choices around every event that happens to me. Good one.
Bug, yes there was something seriously wrong with me that I picked H for an H. I was raised to expect nothing from my loved ones, to be very uncomfortable with expressions of love, to feel no needs, to be completely self sufficient because loved ones would only let me down if I needed them. I was not particularly emotionally grown up, and H was in my comfort zone because he wasn't either. I knew that going in but I was very naive and thought I could fix my own problems and that he'd fix his, and that it was just a maturity issue that would resolve with time. I thought I knew better because I had relied on my wits up til then and they served me well. I thought I could get by without outside help. I thought I was emotionally strong and could take on anything life could dish out. I thought my h was flawed but he was mine and he was too cheap and lazy to ever cheat on me or divorce me.
So yeah, it takes a messed up person to match themselves up with an emotional abuser.
I got better.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
