I kinda took the brunt of the whole ordeal when I said "took it out on her"; she was just as much of it. It was actually pretty cleansing. We both took a couple days off, and it was better after that.
Weird thing: I always apologize. Luckily, my personality is such that a night's sleep and I can't even remember what we were fighting about. However, W NEVER apologizes, and I'm not exaggerating. She just makes excuses. If I say, "You said XYZ to me, and never apologized", she MIGHT apologize, but it's words, only because I pointed it out.
Also, I should say that I have been doing better every day. I am growing, maturing, living and loving life. My 2 kids and 2 step-kids grow closer every day. When W left in July, she told the 2 step-kids that I wasn't their dad, and to call me "JonF". On their own, both of them started calling me Dad again. Every time I'm there, S6 clings to my leg and begs me not to leave, D10 wants to snuggle/cuddle me all the time.
Oddly enough, all of this happens when W is out of the picture. She spends most of her non-working hours in bed, playing video games on her phone. Unfortunately, her depression is still a pretty large part of the picture.
I woke up today with a smile on my face, before my alarm clock, ready to move forward with life, and realized I had hit the pause button waiting on W to figure her life out. However, unless two people are 100% committed to moving forward, then isn't it a waste of time?
