I agree with Wonka smile You said about your W peeking out and seeming like her old self again according to your son. You forgot about the squirrel, lol.
It takes time to get to a proper friend stage. You'll need to get the paperwork out of the way first or if you don't want to do that then tell her and just not go ahead.
Once you've got the paperwork out of the way, then is the time to strike up a friendship. She will not see you then as anything other than a friend, does that make sense?
I'm not sure, but maybe send her another text saying that you're sorry for the last text you sent and you will no longer stand for your M if that's what she wants. You could also say that you would like to remain friends though for the sake of the boys and so there is no animosity between you when you do meet up.
Just my 2 cents worth smile

H47 me48
T22 M21
S20 - Got high functioning autism
3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her
11/2000 H moves back home
2/4/13 H moves out
H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!