When your W asked about the solicitor signing date, it touched a raw nerve in you as it came across to you as in "I am done and I am looking forward to living my own life." Am I about right? The emotional reaction to this text is perfectly normal and natural.
You asked for thoughts on your text response:
Originally Posted By: hotwheelsaust
My reply: I understand you wish to make plans for your future and will work with solicitor to achieve this for you. Remember this agreement is your choice. I am still going to stand for my marriage and my vows. I am sorry if that upsets you, but I will not give up on you, no matter what you do or have done. hotwheelsaust
Stating that you "will not give up on you....no matter what you do or have done" seems to invalidate your W's decision to leave the marriage and her feelings. It comes across as controlling.
A better approach would have been something like this:
"Things with the solicitor take time. I am sorry that you feel you need to do this. This is not what I want."
By making this statement, you are not disregarding with W's decision but making your thoughts clear to her that it is not what you want. See?
I want to circle back to your first attempt to reach out to W by asking her out for coffee. That did not pan out quite well...as you noticed. Can you think back on why that didn't work out? I want you to try to see this from W's point of view? What do you imagine W's reaction was when she read that first text from you?
