Thanks AJ. I kind of freaked out the other night with some seemingly new info that W had been to see OM's sister, who was her connection to OM to start with. Set me for about a 10 minute tailspin. In that brief time, I reached out to W's buddy. I knew it was wrong, but had pushed send already.
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
Wow. JF, when you feel start to spin and twittering on the edge of antsy pantsy sofa, sit tight for 24-hours. This is what we call the '24-hour rule' here to prevent us from doing rash, stupid things based on emotion.
Well done in remaining calm in the face of W's epic spewing.
So, I think you're right as to why the spew occurred.
And you learned some stuff.
Not to have a knee jerk reaction to new information. That she is watching and seeing your changes. A couple of things hit home - like her making the decisions all the time. Good that you heard that and acknowledged it to her, but more importantly to yourself. That she bought the MLC handbook for sure.
Ayep, they often go right back to the new normal after a spew.
So, back on your path you go. And you are among many weird people. Apparently being weird is our new normal. Just sayin....
Good job on handling the EPIC spew......right out of the MLC handbook.
I like your take away from what she said....I really think you found some truths hiding in the pile of rubbish she was tossing. The irony being is that some of it actually tied into AJ's question from the other day.
As for the friend....big mistake. Get up from that one and don't do it again lol. Also, don't pursue or listen to OM gossip/rumor/anything.
Job sitch is a no brainer for me in all this now. Had an incredible talk with S12 last night. Real man to man, heartlfelt talk. If i stay where im at, he would have to choose between being with me and being with all his friends. Told me last night he thought I would be mad at him if he didn't come with me, but didn't want to leave his friends. (All things I already knew.)
If new job happens, I'll have so much more time with my boys and W if things ever work out. I'll have less stress in my day-to-day. I have less travel, less time and the rewarding knowledge that I did the best thing I could have done for myself and my family.
If W never makes it out of her fog and we cannot reconcile, then I will be closer to my boys in that scenario.
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
Glad you talked to your son and reaffirmed what you already knew. If you can make it all work out, it sounds like the new job will be really great for you and your boys (and hopefully, your W someday, too...LOL).
Quick Update DB friends. These two situations I've sought your valuable advice in have developed:
1) I have moved out of the bedroom into the spare room in our home. W has said so many spiteful and hurtful things during her last 2 spews that I can no longer stay sane sharing a bed or a dressing area with her. I struggled with this, because I did not want to send the wrong message to my sons. I have reached a point where I really do not like the person she has become and in an act of self preservation, I chose to move out of her lair.
2) interviewed for the new job this afternoon. This job will cost me around 5-6k in salary per year, but will reduce stress, driving, food expenditures, and put me taking my 12 year old to school every day for the next 5 1/2 years. I was offered the job before the interview even concluded. I am excited, S12 is excited, S10 is excited, but W only sees loss in money. Sadly, she also thinks I want to be around more to spy on her. It is a new chapter in my life. New scenery, new people, more time with my kids. Can't beat it.
Thanks for all my friends here who have kept me in your thoughts recently. I've had some rough times in the last couple months. I know most of you see my humorous and sometimes flirtatious posts here and don't know that much about my sitch. Day to day still svcks in my house and this group of friends has become an oasis in an otherwise barren desert of sadness. Some of you have reached out to me personally and I am forever in your debt. My life is touched by your presence. If only on the other side of this screen that I stare at. Thank you all and God bless you for sharing and allowing me into your lives.
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
. Good thing, cuz you fit right in!!!!