Unfortunately you are the last person she will listen to when it comes to her needing help. You are not in a position to set that up for her. About all you can do is detach and leave her to it (as long as she's not dangerous or suicidal).
Regarding your OW, just my opinion but I don't see how you can reasonably start a new romantic R when you still live with your W. As long as you're still living together there's going to be a lot of emotional baggage and I don't see how you keep that out of the other R. Personally when I read these sitches involving "in-house separations" the couples never really sound separated to me. More like "married but having problems". Once you physically separate the marriage drops away pretty quickly (except for the legal part) and the people become much more independent.
