Paul, it actually doesn't sound like a backslide, sure the LBS is not supposed to initiate R convos but you did and your W was a willing participant. Sounds like it went fine, don't beat yourself up over it.
Originally Posted By: paul19510
I told my W that I choose her. I responded to yesterday's comment that "I should walk a mile in her shoes" and said I'd be glad to. I fact I told her, I would carry her if she were sick or hurt and needed me.
I would just suggest that you not say any of the above again. You said it, she knows it, so don't push it because more of this would be pressure. I will tell you that my W told a friend that she hated the thought of getting sick and having to be cared for by me, it was her "worst nightmare". Did she say that because I'm a rude, selfish, uncaring jerk? No, I've always been very caring and doting when she or the kids have been sick. She said it because she's in the fog and I can do nothing right in her eyes, everything I've ever done is wrong, everything in the marriage was nothing but pain, suffering and misery. If your W is even half as foggy as mine, then your offer of carrying her if she was sick or hurt may have actually repulsed her! So be careful with this kind of talk. It may SEEM right, but remember, DB'ing is counterintuitive. It is all about fighting our urge to reach out, reason, plead, negotiate, etc. and instead give them time and space.
