I was angry at the OP but I was much more angry at my ex. The OP did not make a vow to me. It was not up to the OP to remain faithful to me.
She was simply a player in a horrible game the ex played.
I, unwittingly, was my ex's OP. He told me they were divorced (they weren't) and he told me horrible things about his ex. Things I believed. When my ex and I divorced and I found out that I had been the OP, I emailed and apologized to her. I was sincere. I would have never gotten involved with someone who was still involved with someone else.
I think people often blame the OP because, as someone said above, it is easier to assign malicious intent to them instead of the people we married. However, often times, they are told tale...just like we were.
the ferocity with which some people talk about the OP is disturbing at best and unhealthy. It is misplaced anger.
My two boys were hurt in the divorce too...they weren't hurt by the OP...they were hurt by my ex's lies.
