Okay all, thank you for your thoughts. First, let me start by saying I am indeed moving forward with my life and have been for sometime now. And it is because of my moving forward I have had some serious thoughts of late as to what do I do about the situation with my S...About this what seems to be a never ending limboland I destest so much.

The idea of my S living her life without having the descency to say anything to me about leaving, divorcing etc. from the time she left and all the many months (9)since is something I find very ugly. She was not this ugly person I am finding her to be today. In my mind, I could NEVER do someone like that. Even if I hated that person I would have enough inside me to say how and why I felt the way I did.

Maybe at this time I am now preparing myself to truly and completely detach from the sitch. The stumbling block I keep coming up against is even though I AM MOVING FORWARD whenever the thoughts of my sitch arise it is a reminder that there is no closure to what was an important time and many years of my life. Not looking back is difficult to do even with the better days I have been indeed experiencing.

25yearsmlc, I really dont even think of using anything as a tactic anymore with her. Sure, I did in the beginning as most do however, that mindset is long gone. I appreciate you reminding me of this smile. Right now it would appear that maybe, somehow I need to just get a mindset of letting her do what she will regarding a D. I dont need the cost of that right now for sure. As TTD mentioned, D costs money. Even a simple D costs a good amount and even if I did file as you said 25years she may not be willing to sign. Who knows, but I dont want to spend money on something that may not come to an end.

F, I agree with you on the smelling the forest stuff. As long as it's not bear chit...heh heh...I do believe I have considered the marriage over for sometime. And it has been obviously.

AS, nah, I dont want to shoot her...lolol...Damnit I'm too nice of a person to do that...But, I do have a good aim and can hit my target! wink Sure I have stood for awhile but in all honesty 3 months ago I began living a good and descent life again. I have never felt better except for the damn cold i have atm. Somehow I have got to "learn" a way to not let my thoughts dwell on my WAS' treatment of me from the beginning till now and likely beyond without some finality.

And that is what this is really about now. It is NOT about me pining away for her, I am not and will not do that. I dont even feel that anymore. I have not made any statements to her to make her believe I am doing that either. In August of last year I did write her a coherent email telling how I felt. No begging whining or pleading involved. That is when she responded a week later about getting back to me on D.

Ummmm, geesh that was 6 months ago.

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