Just checking in with you here Pud. I think you've made some strides in the right direction. You seem to have such a hard time appreciating your own worth. H isn't going to navigate and/or change as long as he knows that you are still right where he left you. That's what the detachment thing is about. Let him go. Really let him go. When you truly find your own happiness because you realize you are worthy of love. If that comes from your H when he exits the fog, then so be it. If that means that one day someone else sees the wonderful parts of you and you are able to have another healthy R, then so be it.
Bottom line is that the constant R talks aren't getting you anywhere cause you are trying to fix him. You can't do it, so stop. It makes you feel bad and doesn't get you or H anywhere.
Work on the things inside you. Find your own beauty and enjoy it. Do that first through your own work and then the other part, that love that you so much desire, will fall in place.
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
