Set a text boundary.(I might have said this before) You will text with her about kid logistics and that's it. When it turns to anther subject you stop. "Have a good day wife. Can't talk about this now" and then let the L do her/his thing.

You both go on and on and nothing ever gets settled.

I feel for you but back off.

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss