The parental responsibility thing--especially when a special needs child is involved--It IS B.S. It just IS. Imagining a special section of Hell just for WAS of kids--that helps me.
At the same time, I think about what he has missed. D11 wants to get her ears pierced on Saturday. H doesn't know that and she won't tell him. He isn't a part of her comfort zone anymore.
I bet there are, at least, five things you know about the current events of your kids that your H doesn't have a clue about.
Last night, I had D19 on speaker phone and D11 sitting next to me. We were laughing so hard I was crying about my mom and her new Total Gym. My mom is 70 and bought this contraption that she doesn't understand--and, yes, it could be dangerous. Somehow, she was upside down on the thing and bumped her head. It wasn't serious, but, the upshot is...it's another family moment H missed. We were laughing so hard because we have watched this Total Gym drama unfold for the past six months--ever since she decided to get one. One of millions of family moments, missed.
And, you just can't make a quick "catch up" with this stuff. This stuff is day-to-day drama--it's the little things.
If H had walked into the room, he wouldn't have gotten the joke because he has chosen to be elsewhere.
I know it doesn't feel like much consolation now. And, there are moments, when I'm arguing with D11 about getting her schoolwork done or driving back and forth to pick up D19 from college... So many moments when I feel angry--but, in the long run, I'd rather be here than the places H now considers home.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
