WBW, We do understand what you are saying about wanting love and someone to take care of you...but right now your h doesn't want to be those things for you.
It takes time to detach and yes, you are still trying to figure things out and believe me, you will never have all of the answers to the puzzle. It's difficult letting go when there are children involved.
His crisis started approximately 18-24 months before the bomb drop. It's not that he doesn't care, but the feelings for you have been stuffed way down into his soul and his issues have come to the surface. I know, it's difficult to understand how all of this plays out and that's why it's very important that you continue to read the active threads as well as the ones in the archives.
Some day, if he's one of the lucky ones, his heart an soul will begin to thaw. But, until that time, you will need to live your life to the fullest and as if he may not return.
BTW, I think it would be wise if your D15 had her own phone so that she and her father could communicate. It gets old after a while that you are having to be the go between for the calls. One better...he could call her on the house phone or email her.
I wouldn't try to show him anything in the way of custody or separation/divorce issues. He'll refuse to hear anything you have to say. The best thing to do is just file and ensure that you and the children are taken care of in the support department. Please keep in mind that you are trying to have rational discussions w/an individual who is emotionally irrational right now.
Please take care of yourself. You will get to where you need to be in time. Right now, you are right where you are suppose to be in the eyes of the man upstairs.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
