My exW's OM was a cop (detective actually) who was (still is) married with 2 small children (one an infant). He had no intention of leaving his marriage. My exW was staying in marriage until she got caught. They are just sneaky and deceitful people and is more about their actual character than a single action/mistake so tough for me to actually 'forgive' something that they are and will always be rather than just accepting I married someone with a serious character and judgement flaw. Not so much the actual act of adultery but more her actions, response and behaviours during and after that I still have not forgivin. The cruelty with which they try to ruin everything else about you, financially, emotionally, psychologically to gain an upper hand on everything from children to finances. The cheating in my sense still goes on and includes all the adultery plus the stealing of money and the lies through litigation. All of which have been exposed but no remorse on her part. Only more kicking on the groin to me because I am the bad guy who wouldn't accept being a doormat anymore. Forgiveness is a choice, but also be sure of what you are actually forgiving. Hard to forgive when the shots are still coming at ya. Just be at peace with yourself and forgive yourself. The other may or may not come.
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
