melissag VIII - but I'm afraid to have no fear!

[bluesgal]

Melissa, I am going to give you tough love.

I love reading your posts because I share almost identical feelings. It is so nice to follow you and read the responses because I can see myself in your sitch.

You know what I've done over the last several days? I've decided I'm not going to kick and scream anymore. I have been tantruming since BD and now off and on over the last month since my H lip service about 'working things out'.

I am letting go. I am saying the words letting go. This is so awful because it's not fair, not logical, hurting many people, and thoughtless. But I can't control it anymore. I have taken a giant step outside of me and looked at sitch once again from the outside. Wow, my H is not well. His choices are not him. I am going to let him go on his journey now. I am not going to stand in the way and put out the fires. I will uphold my boundaries and if they are abused, I will ask H to leave.

I am taking deep breaths and repeating these words and thoughts. I hope you can get to this place because it is becoming so much more peaceful. It feels like acceptance??

From one oontrol freak to another, I know we sometimes need to be shaken by the shoulders. You are great, you are strong, you have such talent and focus. Let your H go. We will do this together. We will mourn what we no longer have and we will focus on right now. Breathe.