These people have walked in your shoes and now walk with you down your path. Get a lawyer, know your rights. Do that tomorrow. Read golfmom's thread if you think otherwise.
A lawyer is no animosity. It is being a mama bear and valuing you. Do you understand? It has nothing to do with your h and everything to do with you and your kids. No action has to be taken ,but you need a course of action, some knowledge and a set of brass ones should it become necessary.
If you can go back 2,000 posts you can see it was one of the very first things I did, to know my rights. I saw a lawyer. H was not happy, but it calmly explained that I needed to know mine and our children's rights. How I would be proceeding.
My h got a gf shortly after BD. Don't kid yourself, he would have been in an affair, I believe, if I hadn't called him out on his unhappiness and ask him to leave.
If you don't feel your kids should be around the sleepover friend, then say so. I also have a non confrontational H, which leads to its own challenges.
You need to read DR
You need to GAL
180s. No more " selfish pig" or " engineered phone calls". Give me two ways you could have handled these two situations differently. What looks like one kind of behaviour to you most likely looks totally different to your H.
