When I was in the heart of an SSM, this thought came to mind:

If by some bizarre twist of fate, my W would experience intense physical pleasure if I smashed my thumb with a hammer, I would do that for her, as often as I could, because I love her and because it would not kill me.

I would get NOTHING out of it, it would suck for me, but I would still do it.

Having sex can't be as bad as smashing your thumb with a hammer, so refusing to do it at all, when you're capable of it, is something I just can't understand.

Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced
M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11
Start Reconcile: 8/15/11
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced)
In a New Relationship: 3/2015