F, I have not read Codependent No More. I do have "The Language of Letting Go." I don't think that I or H are codependent. Well, maybe H is. But I actually went through that in IC and decided I'm clearly not. What in particular made you ask that? Is there something in it that you think I could benefit from?
25, I love your post and I need to reread it later tonight and respond fully. I did want to say that I am aware of the new maintenance guidelines, but my H's income is too high for those guidelines or the CS guidelines. If we ended up in court, it's a complete crap shoot what the numbers would be - it depends entirely on the judge. So mediation is pretty important, and I hope that H meant what he said about making sure that I am not struggling financially.
I want you to know, 25 (and others), that I really appreciate the 2x4s. I love getting support from these boards, of course, but it is more meaningful when I know that you all will call me on my BS. As I am sure you know, it is much easier to see the obvious in other's sitches - not so much when you are in the thick of it. So I do count on you guys to set me straight. I truly don't just want to be told I am right; I want to go through this with an open heart and mind, and understand and have compassion rather than walk around thinking I'm better than someone else, or be bitter and resentful.
Lots more to come, but have to take my kids to see Frozen for the fifth (yes, fifth) time.
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
As I am sure you know, it is much easier to see the obvious in other's sitches - not so much when you are in the thick of it. So I do count on you guys to set me straight. I truly don't just want to be told I am right; I want to go through this with an open heart and mind, and understand and have compassion rather than walk around thinking I'm better than someone else, or be bitter and resentful.