The kids need him as much as he needs them. Time with them can't count as a "thing you get" and lumped in with money. I know how you feel, I thought that way too but that's just that. They need their dad and if you try to limit that, they'll just grow up fantasizing about life with him and blame you for everything wrong with their life.
He absolutely needs to support you financially and support you if you need to take classes to kickstart your career but the kids have absolutely nothing to do with this aspect.
Thanks, 2S. I know all this. I will never put my own needs above those of my children, and I know that they need their Dad. I'm not saying that I will try to keep them from him, nor am I saying that support and custody have anything to do with the other. The point of my rant was twofold:
(1) I think it's BS that H decided to put himself before me, our M and most of all, our children . . . and as a result, I get screwed out of half their childhood; and
(2) The deal was I take care of the kids, he has the career and provides for the family. In the end, he gets to keep the benefits of his nine years of working (the career and the money), AND he gets the kids half the time. For my nine years of taking care of the kids, I lost my career AND I am losing my kids half the time anyway.
I am venting at the unfairness of it all. I will take it, because I will put my kids first. And I will try to work through the anger and resentment, because it doesn't help anyone. And I will take lemons and make lemonade. Etc. But I am not there yet. Right now, I am pissed off.
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
