Update: My PMA has been through the roof over the last few days. Back around friends and meeting new ones is incredible for the soul. W has begun to react to my changes some. I'm seeing some abnormal behavior from her over the last couple of days. Yesterday, we were all out of school due to weather and I assumed she would spend all day in bed per the norm. She actually did a load of laundry and cooked wings for supper last night. Hooray! I still did dishes and trash and animal duties, but it was nice to see her up and doing something. She was also more engaged with the kids over the last couple of days. Now participating in nighttime tuck in rituals again.
On the negative front, she was back to her cold indifferent self around me yesterday. She did attempt to pick a fight with me over finances as I got out of the shower smiling and humming a song. Maybe she didn't want to see me that happy? I just made myself lunch around her and went on about my business. i left her grumbling under her breath as I walked away humming one of my favorite new songs.
Roller coaster ride svcks on her side. I feel that I have reached a place where I no longer let her craziness affect my own mood and approach to things. Whatever it is at this moment, it is. I am learning to enjoy the positives and not let negatives destroy me. Maybe she will figure it out, maybe she wont. That, I know, is not something I can control.
Control the controllable.
Hey J...
Part of this is the "bounce"...
As you bounce higher, she will fall lower, and when you fall lower, she will bounce higher again...
The trick is, for you to stay level and consistent , and to allow her emotions to go where they may....
The more that you change within the crisis, the more they will do the same. When they see you as becoming more competent in all of the areas that you lacked in before, it kinda gives them the permission that they need to fall more apart...
That is good. Means that you are doing something "right"
