Ok so this went great! Better than expected...oooh, you *wish* I was spilling those details but you'll have to get your own
The important part is what happened after. We had a hella long talk my friends. In this talk, she confirmed that after some space to herself she does indeed love me, no ILYBINOLWY about it.
We also both acknowledged that we never actually had any time together as a couple...ever. We were in our early 20s and went straight to family mode with 2 kids and one on the way.
When the moment felt right, I told her that what I wanted wasn't for us to concentrate on repairing the R and moving back together. Right now, I'd like for us to get to know each other again and build an "us" that involves no kids, houses, dogs, etc. She said she'd like that very much. Even told me she's willing to hook up and ML on a random basis like today in the future.
She also told me (never explained that before) that before leaving, she was having panic attacks and other problems she was keeping to herself. She's still having a hard time and needs a lot of time to herself, can't handle stress, needs solitude.
This is a big victory for me. I now have an avenue to try and build a new, functional R. It will either work or it won't, but at least now we have a path to try.
The fact that moving back in is off the table in all this sounds bad but it takes so much pressure off the whole thing. I can be myself and make this relationship work for me. I kind of feel that if I tried to get her to move back in as part of all this, I'd be sacrificing things just to make it work.
Bring it on, 2014! I'm ready.
Resentment occurs when we aren't doing what we need to care for ourselves, though we expect others to do it for us.
