Mediation and the realization........PartV

[Positivespin]

Understanding that the only way this works is when you are 100% honest- here we go.

On 12/23 I sent an email to a woman on atch.com. My first. Damn, did I want to puke out of nervousness.

This woman was VERY different then the others. Im odd....and so is she.

So I craft this email which was way to deep and gave her wayyyyyy to much info and too many details- It was utterly pathetic. It should be framed and hung on the wall of shame for first emails. My profile had no pic and as little info as possible- I joined simply to see what was out there (My buddy turtle inspired me).

Her profile was just so different.

Having never tried this online world I spent days studying what the pros say- I research everything...Im a virgo

She responded back to me something like " Ive never gotten such a raw and honest email like that before. I have to respond. Unfortunately, I dont have the time now but I will send you a quality email when I can"

Two days later she delivered.

so we email back and forth 30+ times (another "Thing you should never do")and suddenly she goes dark for three days....but I keep emailing her anyway (thus violating the "ways to not look utterly pathetic and desperate rule") 12/28-12/31.

I see my T on new years eve - thought it would be a good idea on the holiday and I tell her about emailing this real cool person who just disappeared. She tells me "Oh well, you will find LOTS more...your a catch"

New years day she sends me a email!!!!!!!and we continue back and forth all wed and thur.

Thur nite I tell her to call me and we talk for almost 2 hrs.(another "pro" no/no)

As she still has no idea what I look like I decide she needs a pic so I try to teach D4 how to take a pic on an ipad - FAIL

So then Daddy takes a series of pics of himself using his bathroom mirror (YES I AM REALLY THIS PATHETIC) Prob 40 pics total moving my ugly head angle ever so slightly in each pic.

I review and eliminate 39 to get ONE decent pic. Which I send.....

Yet another moment of true panic.
and a email response from her............

":) Mirror pic works for you"

Im literally dancing at that moment.

I use her Ph# to try texting an "I enjoyed our call text" the next morning (Friday 1/3)- no response.

The next day I meet her for the first time. WOW! She giggles, compliments my clothes, wants to see what i bought, twirls her hair.....but I chicken ship out of asking her out for Tue night (last night)because I was so giddy.

That afternoon I send her an email asking her out on Tuesday nite and I get a response Sun AM.
" At this time I dont know about Tue night. I have an obligation but I wont know if I have to go until that AM. Which is unfair to you."

So....because Im so out of it and lacking of confidence I show my friends and they all say "Its a blowoff" because she didnt offer an alt date. "She was just trying to be nice to you".

I dont hear from her again Sunday or Monday (same pattern as prev week)

Yesterday, I go to work hoping to hear something all day. Nothing. Disappointed, I head home. Thankfully, Im not alone- I had D4. We head to subway to split a sandwich for dinner.......

Suddenly my pocket vibrates.......

"Hey. Its "J". Still want to get that drink?"

She texted me as soon as she was done with her "obligation". We spent two hours together on our "first date" and we set up our second for next week.

What an awesome way to survive the one year anniversary of the day my wife left me!