well, good point F...Waiting wont make a difference as far as I can tell at this point. I guess when you are being completely ignored with absolutely no reaching out from her end, you get just get tired of being treated in that manner. In my mind it is undeserved and unwarranted on her part. She left on her terms which any normal person would look at and deem most inapropriate.
The point is I'm tired of the sitch anymore. Wait, wait, wait, for what? It's almost like being a deer in the woods with a hunter just sitting in his tree stand. The deer at some point comes into the clearing and BAM!! Or the deer never comes into the clearing and the hunter justs sits and waits, for how long?
So you're waiting to shoot her? LOL! Just kidding, I know what you meant You're right, you don't deserve to get treated like crap. When it comes down to it, all most of us were really guilty of is not knowing our spouse wasn't happy. And in being here we've all proven that once we knew, we were willing to DO SOMETHING about it. Our spouses? Not so much. The only thing they've done about it is dump us. We work hard, they run away. It is absolutely not fair. But that's why the focus has to be on US and not our spouses. Because when we work on ourselves for ourselves, well then we can't lose.
Anyway, I hear you loud and clear. My W isn't dark like yours, but believe me, I am getting nothing, and I mean NOTHING from her as far as warmth, validation or love. I think "tolerance" is about the most I get from her. How do you keep loving someone who doesn't love you? I don't think you can, if love isn't nurtured it withers and dies. How long that takes is for each of us to determine. I've seen people that couldn't even wait a month. Others have waited for years. For me the interest in reconciling really waned at around the 16 month mark and it's steadily declined ever since. You may be getting there too. And if you are, I think you'll get no criticism here. You've stood for 8 months, that's nothing to be ashamed of. In the end you need to do what is best for you, to not just survive but to thrive and be happy.
You're right, you don't deserve to get treated like crap. When it comes down to it, all most of us were really guilty of is not knowing our spouse wasn't happy. And in being here we've all proven that once we knew, we were willing to DO SOMETHING about it. Our spouses? Not so much. The only thing they've done about it is dump us. We work hard, they run away. It is absolutely not fair. But that's why the focus has to be on US and not our spouses. Because when we work on ourselves for ourselves, well then we can't lose. 
