I am PISSED. Somehow H can make a unilateral decision to renege on our deal; to do his own selfish thing, then to take his (our) money and my (our) children with him. When I have given up my career, and my priority and focus all these years have been my kids. It seems so messed up - he gets the benefit of having worked these years, and he still gets the kids half the time (theoretically), whereas I get much less of the financial benefit of his working, but keep the burden of my not working; AND I lose half the time with my kids. I can't work out how this is in the least bit fair.
While I was stuck in a meeting all morning for work, I was thinking about this exact same thing. And I was PISSED. My H decided that he no longer wants to be M, that he does not want obligations. My H decided that he is okay with being a part time dad. And by part time, he wants to be there for the fun. My oldest turned 5 today. In 5 years, my H has not bought one diaper, one article of clothing, has not filed out any school applications, etc. It was always my role and I was ok with it because to me it was a part of being a mom and I was good at it.
Being a mom is HUGE for me. I want to be a mom 100% of the time. I carried all three of my boys and have loved and cherished them every moment. I don't view them as a burden or as a restriction on my freedom. Yet, I am supposed to think about what is fair for my H and what is fair for the kids. As a LBS, do we just have to accept that no one is going to consider what is fair to us? My H will be getting exactly what he wants (at least based on his current thoughts). And I will be forced to give up my kids 50% of the time. I dont want that. I would not have had children if someone told me that I could only spend 50% of the time with them. It makes me so pissed that I get NO say in this.
It [censored] that ours Hs can unilaterally end the M, end the friendship, eliminate every dream that we may have had and on top of that take our children away 50% of the time. It actually makes me sick when I think about it.
I have no advice M, but just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I am forgive and more beyond everything else. But I honestly dont know how I will ever forgive my H if he takes my kids away from me.
I hope that other vets will provide you with great advice.
