I will survive

[RosaLinda]

Update! I decided to handle our divorce as H is very agreeable, and we can do an uncontested divorce in NY for about $500 if we agree to all the stipulations. He insists that he wants an amicable divorce, so I went down to the county clerk while he's in a good mood, and filed on Monday. S28 served H yesterday.

An uncontested divorce filed this was is supposed to only take 4 to 12 weeks. H has told me that the Russian will be coming over here to NY for 2 weeks again this March, and that they hope that he will be able to return with her to Moscow. And Wonka -- get this -- the Russian got a new apartment and wants H to go and spackle and paint it for her. OMG! All I could think of was you predicting that when he told me, and could barely keep from laughing!

Ellie, I have been thinking about what you and FY said on my last thread, about me re-writing my marital history. I have been really really thinking about the past 38 years. And FY, no, it truly WAS like that. My H and I loved each other, still love each other, and had a mostly normal, happy marriage for 33 years with the normal ups and downs (these past 5 MLC years have been a killer, but that was due to the MLC). My H made me feel loved, but he never made me feel beloved. There is a difference, I know, because I cherished him.

I don't know if I will ever have another relationship, but if so, it will be with someone who will cherish me. Who will actually be interested in what I have to say and will think I'm swell! Maybe that sounds conceited or something, but I'd rather live alone than be under a man's thumb ever again. And Ellie, dating a man 7 years younger! You are my hero, and role model, you give me hope!

I have my next eye surgery this evening, hopefully the last one. My surgeon says that this laser surgery "works" in most of cases like mine, where the lens replacement failed, but if not, he'll be taking me back to the operating room. AND he says that it is just younger patients who needed a lens implant for some reason who develop this problem, which made me feel good until I realized most of his patients are probably 80! I will have to wear those stupid cataract glasses again that make me look like the human fly. But hopefully this will be the end of 5 months of living with blurred vision. Prayers would be appreciated.