So, I have realized, as I am sure you all have, a long time ago, that I am increasingly un satisfied with my relationship with H. Cake eating? Maybe. Unsure where he wants to go? Maybe. But while I invest, he doesn't. And my heart is on the line. But that is the chance I am willing to take. Until recently.
I realize I was going merrily down my path, when I stopped to take a rest on the bench. Unfortunately it was so comfortable and lovely that I just stayed. Now it is time to move forward and maybe on, depending on the outcome of this text fest.
So while the text fest is too long to get into, I've said basically that I am uncertain he can find out what he wants if I am always there.
That I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him but I am also strong enough to hear that is not what he wants if he says so.
He says he doesn't know what he wants or even if what he wants is him really responding to others.
I said that perhaps he needs to not be in my life at all except as a parent to our kids so he can find his own path.
I basically said that if he wants to work on a relationship that is fine, but if I am the choice that makes it easy and safe for him it is not so fine.
Now I want to take it all back!!! Lol. Hardest thing I've done lately, but it been wreaking havoc on my life.
No reply yet, will post what's what
Send me positive thoughts and strength that I can walk this path either way.
Hi Ruby- am sending you all my love and strength. You are a shining light
(((((())))))
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
He is currently dancing around the issue as I write. So I put it in black and white. Yes or No?
He says he is uncertain whether he is happy or is happy because I'm happy etc.
Still waiting....of course he has not made a tough decision on his own yet. They have all been forced, as this one is partially, but that last step is his to take. Ownership time..
So, I get the " you're telling me I have to be alone".... I reply that is not what I meant but I realize it is what you heard.
I went on to say that he does not give back emotionally and for a relationship to work, there has to be trust to begin sharing those truths Even a little
of course he has not made a tough decision on his own yet. They have all been forced, as this one is partially
I've done this a few times with W in the past. Especially when I was feeling stagnant in limbo or that "Come on already!!!" feeling that we all get. The shnit or get off the pot scenario. With my sitch, when I tried to push her away from the cake, it usually got a little worse before it got better.
But keep you head up on that if it happens (and since your H and my W graduated from the same tortoise school) he just might close up and back off before opening up and getting even closer.
Guess I'm saying... watch the expectations.
Me(F):40 WAW:44 T:13yrs M:9yrs BD:2/12 (I saw a text) ILYBINILWY: 5/12 PA admission: 12/12 (began 3/11) S:2/13 Moves in w/AP D begins: 7/13 W moves home to R: 10/13
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