Four weeks in, hopeful but just starting!

[AnotherStander]

You mentioned reading DR, so hopefully you have a good handle on how to act around him now. Also read Sandi2's 37 Rules and live those tips! Much of what you wrote actually sounds pretty typical of stories around here. The bottom line is neither of you worked on the M. Neither of you made an effort to fill the other's love tank. If he hadn't BD'd you, you probably would have BD'd him somewhere down the road. Read the 5 Love Languages, it'll help you understand how your M got here.

1) ML. He’s identified this as an issue. I’m certainly interested. Should I try to initiate and see what happens, or is that considered pursuing?

Initiating it is definitely pursuit. One of the problems in DB'ing is that we want to "fix" all the previous problems, so if infrequent ML was an issue then we think we need to double or triple up on that. The problem is once a spouse is a WAS, they don't want that AT ALL. So there are some things that you can't really do a 180 on and this is one of them.

2) How should I approach living together in terms of day-to-day logistics? For example, I was going to the grocery store the other day and he asked if he could come with to pick out some food for himself (at least he knew he shouldn’t ask me to get things for him!) I wasn’t sure if I should say yes, or say no and try and separate our activities more.

This is kind of a gray area, but personally before W moved out I tried to show her as much as I could what life would be like if she decided to stay. So I was the best husband and father I could be during that time. She still left and is still gone, so I don't know that it helped any, but I have no regrets about it.

3) How should I approach questions/statements about logistics of D/life after D?

Face it head on. Don't initiate convos, but if he brings it up then it's OK to discuss. Make it clear to him that you WILL protect yourself, you're not just going to roll over and let him do what he wants. You want to show him strength, dignity, independence and integrity throughout this process.