In my younger years, I sent my first W flowers at her office. She gave them away one at a time for other people to put on their desks, saying they were from her ex. We hadn't even started D.
My brother and his W have been dragging out D for financial reasons. I have a feeling she might was to remarry because he said his W asked for a D for Christmas. LOL. As for him, he's got a R going with a woman who's against divorce for religious reasons, but that overpowers her problems with adultery, obviously. What a tangled web.
If my H had sent me flowers I'd have found out about the A much sooner. That was the one thing he made clear from the start - don't expect flowers as he doesn't do flowers.
He made his bed, let him lie in it. I've made my decision and even if he was to come crawling back, I'm not changing my mind. I don't know where I'll be this time next year but I do know that it won't be with my H. That is one certainty in my life .
Both 50 S14 M 16 yrs (his 3rd; my 1st)
ILYBINILWY - 24 Dec 2012 H moved out - 27 Jun 2013 Legally separated - 6 Sep 2013 Closing the door and changing the locks
I agree NQ I'm struggling with the religious side of it as well as God doesn't like D. Anyway, my friend pointed out to me, well what if there's abuse? I said well that's the exception. She said well your H has been emotionally abusing you. Case closed I think I also struggled with the sermon this morning. She was saying how we should do the right thing and not what our friends and family want us to do. Uh oh I thought! I am still trying to convince myself that I'm going the right way about things now and the door is closing on H. Whether or not I get my wish list is another story, but I'm trying not to think about that too much as I'm losing sleep over him, lol. My wish list that is, not H
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
If you feel you're making the right decision, then it's the right thing regardless of the reasoning behind your decision. It's your life, you're the one that has to live with your decisions.
Both 50 S14 M 16 yrs (his 3rd; my 1st)
ILYBINILWY - 24 Dec 2012 H moved out - 27 Jun 2013 Legally separated - 6 Sep 2013 Closing the door and changing the locks
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
I had an interesting text from H last night. "I'm in limbo at the moment.... Seriously thinking of going back to the world and the job"
He's used the second part of that text a few times before and I don't believe it any more now than any other time. It's his way of saying that he's thinking about go back to the UK and taking the job offer he supposedly has there - and I highly doubt the job offer since I'm sure the Army has enough younger recruits that they don't need a 50-year old with a bad heart. It would be my guess that the OW has dumped him.
Even if she has, that doesn't change anything. I haven't responded to the text yet, and when I do my response is going to be "It's your decision. You chose not to be part of my life so I no longer have any input in yours".
If this had happened a month or so ago, maybe things would have been different. Back then, the door was still wide open. I've come to realize in that time that I have a lot to offer someone without changing to please them, and that while having a man in my life would be a bonus - a very nice bonus mind you - it is not a necessity. Today, that door is closed and double locked. I'm moving on and the only part H is going to play in my life is when it comes to co-parenting our son.
And that reminds me, time to change my signature again. S13 turns 14 today. I've taken the day off work to spend it with him. We're meeting up with H tonight for dinner. H initially wasn't too thrilled that our son invited my dad to come to dinner with us, but I reminded him that it is our son's day and it's his decision and then added that I would pay for my dad's dinner if it was that big of a deal.
Both 50 S14 M 16 yrs (his 3rd; my 1st)
ILYBINILWY - 24 Dec 2012 H moved out - 27 Jun 2013 Legally separated - 6 Sep 2013 Closing the door and changing the locks
Even if she has, that doesn't change anything. I haven't responded to the text yet, and when I do my response is going to be "It's your decision. You chose not to be part of my life so I no longer have any input in yours".
If this had happened a month or so ago, maybe things would have been different. Back then, the door was still wide open. I've come to realize in that time that I have a lot to offer someone without changing to please them, and that while having a man in my life would be a bonus - a very nice bonus mind you - it is not a necessity. Today, that door is closed and double locked. I'm moving on and the only part H is going to play in my life is when it comes to co-parenting our son.
You're right you know, we are at the same point in our sitches This is exactly how I feel at the mo I agree that you should send him that text, but if you're seeing him tonight then maybe it won't matter. I hope your son has a great birthday and that his meal goes ok without any animosity between you all. It's wrong of your H to think that you wouldn't invite your Dad, he's a big part of you and your son's life. H moving back to the UK will be a very selfish action on his part. He will no longer be able to see his son, but then in his MLC state he's probably not bothered at the mo. One day he'll wake up and realised all that he's missed. Have a great time tonight
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
There's been a couple of strange conversations with H over the last few days, both of them initiated by him.
The first was Sunday evening after he had been at the house all afternoon visiting our son. While he was around I had been chatting briefly online with an FB friend on my phone. It seems he thought I was hiding the phone from him. Anyway his text that evening was "I take it from the texting and the fact you kept hiding your phone that you have a new beau. I wish you all the best. You deserve it". A later text was along the lines of "I made my choice knowing there was NO coming back. I wish I could give you want but I can't. I tried but it didn't feel right anymore."
It was a female friend and I wasn't aware that I came across as hiding my phone as I did nothing different than I do when he's not around. Both that friend and I think its funny that he seems to be jealous .
The second conversation was last night when he dropped round to pick up some tax and financial paperwork he needed. He again stated that he is never coming back and then went on to give me his blessing to date and to move on with my life. What? Really? He says he's not jealous, it's not his style, and that he really does think I deserve better than he can offer. His last comment was that he'd really like it if I could find someone who really appreciated me and he hoped that one day I would remarry.
Neither of the conversations really bothered me. I just find it strange that the conversation coincided with him collecting financial information. I guess time will tell what he's thinking or planning.
Both 50 S14 M 16 yrs (his 3rd; my 1st)
ILYBINILWY - 24 Dec 2012 H moved out - 27 Jun 2013 Legally separated - 6 Sep 2013 Closing the door and changing the locks
.
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He says he's not jealous, it's not his style, and that he really does think I deserve better than he can offer. His last comment was that he'd really like it if I could find someone who really appreciated me and he hoped that one day I would remarry.