wife moved to.parents house last week scared

[paul19510]

well, interesting morning. I went over to the cleaning job at the church. Its one of my 180s. she and I share the work in order to gain more $$ for her to afford the horses. We've done the cleaning business for the past 2 years.

In past I was not as creative about my time and when I would do the floors in the building. W would always nag and try to get my timing to be what she wanted and how she wanted it done. I would resist and argue. not sure if its really a 180 per se, but a change/ I just take care of it at a time that works for me and in a way that's good for the business. if she argues or tries to micro manage it, I drop the rope.

Now that we are separate, I go over in the early morning. no one is there and I get it all done. W also works at this church so, its great for avoiding her because she's not there at 5AM.

This morning I went to mop under the pews and I was going to mop the bathrooms in the lobby of the church. I heard a huge gushing sound. Water was pouring from the ceiling in nursery room in the back of the church due to a burst pipe from this cold snap we are having.

I called the W and woke her up and asked her to call the church maintenance people. I was originally not able to reach her....she was asleep and didn't answer. it wasn't my best scripting, but it was movement of some kind...

Conversation to follow:

M: I'm at the church. A pipe burst...Are you across the street or at your parents??
W: OH no! I'm at my parents.
M: I respect your right to be private and freedom you seem to want, but since you don't seem to be in the same place, I'd appreciate some heads up if you have D13 with you as to if you are 500 yards away or 20 miles away. I think that's fair. Can we agree on this??
W: yes, that's fair.
M: I couldn't reach you, I don't know any numbers to reach any help, I have no idea where you are, its 5AM and the room is 2 inches deep with water.<me sounding irritated by now...>
W: let me get off the phone and call them. I'll get back to you
M: the kids are at home and this impacts my day. I can't eave here until I am relieved.
W: I get that. please let me off the phone so I can call them.
M: OK
W calls back.
W: they are on their way. they told me how to help you shut off the water main to stop the leak. <she explains>
M: Sorry to sound impatient earlier, but this situation is getting irritating....
W: tell me about it. try walking a mile in MY shoes....
M: I'd be glad to hear all about it, except you're not saying anything. in the meantime, I have a house to run and kids to raise. I gotta keep stepping here, I have much to do before the kids go to school. Like I said, my ears are open, but I'm not hearing anything...Have a good day.
W: bye

made me feel better, but she probably couldn't care a less. If she removes the words horse or barn from her day, she has NOTHING left on her calendar that actually impacts our kids, house or the other things we got married and are responsible for as a couple. She's like a teenager. Concerned only with her stuff. ugh. at least I go to say something. Again, it wasn't my best DB, but W can now also see that I am at the church at %am and have been since we split. changes changes, changes....