You're right. The only new(ish) information, and this is what is bothering me, is that he wants to move forward with custody/financial arrangements, which I assume means move forward with D. Before that, I was enjoying the limbo on the theory that as long as we don't take those steps, there would be more time for him to figure things out.
^^^ When my W moved in with xAP, within a week I was focus driven to give her what she had said wanted by her actions... divorce. Until that I had avoided all talk of the big D. I was afraid. But when I started compiling the spreadsheets, getting my own bank account (I separated the finances completely), I made the list of household items and highlighted what I wanted etc... Well, she starter to avoided me. She ignored and delayed on all of it. That was the first time I received the "I made a mistake" stuff. Granted it still took her 3 months to come home, but I think when she saw that I was no longer going to try to change her mind and I was strong, happy and accepting of her choices... she was getting hit with reality pangs. Her about-face took a bit more time, but it happened.
For me, and I hope this for you, when I reached that personal space of acceptance and agreed with myself that I was no longer going to worry about her decisions that I could not control, my head got clearer and I was more at peace. It's REALLY scary to leave limbo and engage in the D stuff, especially because we don't want it. But I thought at the time, the more I ignore it/her or try to postpone it/her, the more focused she will be on it and the more she will convince herself that it's what she wants. She wanted to be heard so I listened and responded. It was then that she realized "uh-oh."
... And there is always more time... even if D has started. ALWAYS more time.
Me(F):40 WAW:44 T:13yrs M:9yrs BD:2/12 (I saw a text) ILYBINILWY: 5/12 PA admission: 12/12 (began 3/11) S:2/13 Moves in w/AP D begins: 7/13 W moves home to R: 10/13
