Paul your Ws behaviors sound soooo similar to my ex. I think as man get older they want to become closer to their spouse. On the other hand I believe women want more freedom as they age. Just an observation. When my ex found a place I was sooo ready for her to leave that I offered to help her move. She was not happy. I even offered her nookie smile. My sick side.
You will get this it takes time and patience. Be easy on yourself.

M 53
D 20
Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24
Together 26 yrs
Married 16
W Filed for D 7/21/11
Served 9/6/11
D final 8/28/12

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

John Wooden