Expectation.... hmmm... darn it Wonka, you made me think...
I expect that I will have a few things I will want to know, someday. But not right now.
There is a possible expectation that W will want to talk about some stuff, IF...only IF, enough of who she was before MLC remains. She was/is a "talking" processor. And she did give/offer some details and stuff back in Feb/March when the OM things blew up for her. So I "expect" she is likely to do the same, when she is ready. Not guaranteed, though.
Just trying to not get ahead of myself... and focus on the immediate things and worry about future details a bit farther down the road.
Did that explain it better?
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
S3 had his brain MRI today, he did perfectly and didn't had to re-do anything. Now we get to wait for the results for a couple few days...that is hard because who knows what is pressing on his optic nerve and other nerves...he is trying so hard to be tough and not worry.
He confided in me that he was worried...I listened and validated, gave him a bunch of hugs.
W and I were both there, she was quite pleasant, laughing at my attempts to make this all somewhat fun and take the edge off, very talkative, even sat next to me, lol.
She talked to/with me for almost 90 minutes, lots of venting about stuff, but also a bunch of "clarity" talk (I guess), gobs of "we" statements throughout. Different feel, lots of old W present tonight.
Tucking s3 in (well, as much as a 12 year old will let you) was sweet tonight...the boy has so much stress...but he found a "IYL Dad" somewhere...
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
Good stuff Brother T. You have your priorities, and are being very patient with the squirrel. I need to remember this every moment right now with my very shattered W. Thanks for the thoughtful words and great, positive example.
T2, When the time comes to have discussions, you will know what needs to be addressed. What appears necessary today in possible discussions may very well fade away when that time comes. Continue to be patient.
My thoughts and prayers are w/you and your family while you are waiting for the results of the MRI. I know it's a very real concern for you and your family and your focus needs to be on your son at this time. God has a way of working things out and ensuring that our focus is where it needs to be at any given time.
T2, your wife is coming along nicely and I'm glad to see that she's being very supportive and she was laughing last evening. All of this is a good sign. Continue as you have been.
Take care.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Wow. That is a lot of things going on. When do you find out the MRI results?
Keep up the good work on you and let us know what happens with the MRI.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
We should know the results by the end of the week. Hopefully nothing too major.
I am thankful that I learned here not to get ahead of myself (too much, lol) and how to sit quietly and be patient, because it has really helped me not spend too much time in "future possibilities" thoughts with what the results could be, allowing me to be fully present here and now for s3 and everyone/everything else. And keep the life requirements moving where they should be moving towards.
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
The lying, sneaking, concern for her safety and the quality of "men" who would have an affair with a M woman in crisis are my issues, and the loss of feelings for me...not the actual sex part...I am very open-minded there. And infidelity is old as humans, it's not a good thing, but it is there, always has been.
This really intrigues me. When I got married, I always thought that my H having an "affair" would end our marriage, immediately, and be totally unforgivable...that just the thought of him having sex with someone else (after I discovered an affair) would be something I could never overcome.
However, to date, my H has "only" had an EA...and THAT kind of affair has devastated me more than a physical one would have, I think. I can't really say for sure....but it is his lying that has killed me. It is his being "madly in love" with someone else that hurts so, so much. It's his lack of feelings for me...and his lack of respect for our vows that has hurt. According to both H and OW, they never even kissed....and yet, it doesn't matter. The betrayal is still so strong.
It's just interesting how our perspectives change after we go through something like this. Your insight, as always, has been helpful.
Hey Angela - I think we all kind of go through that process during all of this. It's par for the course.
Looked at another way, we have in our mind what the boundaries are, but until we're tested, there's no way to really know what our boundaries are.
T2 - yep, seems you're getting more wise as time goes on. Might want to look into getting some hair dye soon.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
What's with men?!?!? AJ is trying to corrupt you...this is the guy who still wants to buy a red Ferrari!! Sleep tight tonight with one of your eyes open for AJ.
