Newbie needs help:husband left Saturday

[AJM]

KML is spot on. There's a lot he hasn't been telling you most likely. What you can see from the short time you've been made aware - the story and the truth will come out over time. It always does.

The question is what about you? What are you going to do?

For starters, the accusations. You do realize that if he couldn't accuse you of things, he couldn't detach right? That doesn't make them true or valid. But if there is any truth in the things he's said or going to say, discern that for yourself. If you hear something about you that you don't like, then take the action - for YOU and YOU alone. Not for him.

No matter what you do, it won't change him. You have to live for you and you only and if he comes back then you can decide what you want to do then. Many do, but not until long after the LBS is done with them. Remember that so that you can work on you and know that anything you do to get him back will be ineffective and likely backfire.

You did NOT cause this. I don't care what he said, he made his own choices and you did not cause this. UR said the same and if you read Cadets links, you'll see much of the same. From what you described, he is in his own little world. Truth doesn't matter to him right now. Perspective means nothing.

Trust him? I don't advise that. I doubt he trusts himself at this point.

Take care of you. Take care of the kids. Know that you are not alone - we've walked in your shoes. Read Cadet's links. You'll be glad you did.

And know that the thinking about them etc goes on for a while. Until you've had enough. The sooner the better, but in your own time. You'll have to let him walk this one alone and see what happens down the road.

It gets better dx.

Peace,
AJ