I know that the only way he will love me again is if his needs are being met but will he be able to tell me what those needs are????
Try not to make the filling out of the questionnaire a "make or break" deal. Sometimes, a person might not be able to sit down and fill out this questionnaire simply just because they don't know, or maybe aren't exactly sure what their needs are. Or maybe they're perfectionists, and want to make sure they do it right. Or, it takes them too deep into places they don't want to go right now. OR, maybe they they just hate to fill out questionnaires!
Instead, try mixing things up a bit with this. Experiment, and monitor your results.
Watch for their responses when you doing something that might fall into the "fulfilling needs" category. Did the way that you handled the situation seem to produce positive results, or did it maybe produce "less than positive" results"? If it worked, keep doing it. If not, do something different.
Also, try not to leave questions TOO open-ended. For example, instead of asking "What would you like me to do?", ask "Do you like it better when I do this", or do you like it better when I do that? The answer to this might not tell you exactly what they want, however, it could help lead you, and them, into a better direction.
Remember, not everybody really has a strong "definition" of what they're looking for to fulfill all their needs. Most of us are still searching. As well we should be!
JJ
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