Perspective - The Reality of the Trip

[RealityTrip]

Yesterday I asked W to meet an emotional need of mine. And she DID!

There has been a ton going on with her surgery, in-laws, holidays, and it's been super stressful. For a day or so I had been feeling like I needed more touch, more love affirmation. Not because I was insecure, but because I was tired. I just needed the pleasantness and calming of physical closeness.

I said to W early in the day, "I feel like I need to be loved on. I'm really tired. When I get home form work tonight I'm just going to be. I'm not even doing the dishes." (W is still recouping form surgery so all of the household load is squarely on my shoulders... but it's ok)

W said, "Me too. I need to be loved on too." We jokingly bantered back and forth that she now feels spoiled with all the post-op attention and wants it to stay that way. Then she unexpectedly apologized for not having met my emotional needs. She said, "I'm sorry. I just haven't had a whole lot to give lately." I told her I completely understood. The conversation was light and humorous but we definitley were communicating.

Later last light, I was true to my word and vegged out. I didn't even want to cook so I ordered pizza. As I was taking it to the kitchen W called out from the bedroom, "bring it in here". HUH? too cute. We haven't had a bed picnic in years. So I did, we each ate 2 slices and watched some TV. Then she opened her arms and invited me to lay on her chest. She stoked my back and head for a good while as we watched television and I eventually fell asleep there.

I didn't realize until I had an unmet need and vocalized it, that I feared she wouldn't want to or be able to meet it. But now that I've communicated one and she listened and acted upon it of her own accord later that night, I feel like we really are doing ok.

Until the next rough wave... I'm floating calmly.