Okay for the moment. Yesterday kept me busy. School was productive for me.
My daughter came out and will be her 'til Wednesday, HOOOT!
She shared some frustration about an interaction with her dad.
He tells her to come to him when she needs money, and then she asked for help for gas...he gave her an earful.
She hates going to him for money. The first time she let go and did what HE told her to do...he gives her grief.
Tells her the acct. has no money due to mortg. I told her to let him know that I just put gas in the car , wasn't aware there was no money, and I sure hope it doesn't bounce.
Then he goes and does something ODD. His brothers are coming tonight. One has his Fantasy ball league winnings. He tells her to keep it and split it with me. Huh?
Don't really know how to handle that one. I'm just staying quiet for now.
Dancing was good for me last eve. Some new faces, and I missed the gal and her two daughters. :C
I got several compliments on my loss of weight, and opened up a bit. One gal I'm beginning to enjoy asked me how I'm doing it. I told her my H. ran away from home. She said if he keeps running there will soon be those chasing me!
Sweet, and complimentary. Don't want to be chased presently, but her heart was in the right place.
Affection guy, was fine last night. I believe it is just his personality. Exuberant , touchy feely, and somewhat hyper. Whew, I feel SO much better.
I kept my distance, smiled and observed.
The instructor pulled me out to go over what was taught in the previous class. I REALLY did NOT want to be the example with him.
I told him I hate him, and of course over his headset he makes a joke out of it.
Adjuster came yesterday. I liked the gal, used to live in town and she was comfortable. She'll get back to me by the end of the week.
I also finally dropped off the client info sheet. NOT looking forward to the near future . I don't know whether to warn him or keep mum.
I just feel so unclean about all of this. Yet at the same time, I don't want to lose the house.
Formerly Workinprogress H :55 M :over 29 yrs. Together : 33 D : college D : adult BD and left : May 2013 Separated Experimenting/Replay
amb, not far behind you. h has filed but not really anything discussed with finances. H is still paying the bills. I feel like I am a slave to that. I allow his continual bad behavior as long as I don't rock the boat..he pays the electric etc... know that could change. I don't want things to get ugly.
I too ponder how they go from being our life partners to this angry, sad, mean person. Like what AJ told you....their way of getting free.... I've got one more week off school. hoping to get a lot done around the house...
Its going to be a busy semester for me.
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
I wouldn't relay on him paying your vehicle gas bill any longer. Why? Because he advised you to get your own separate account to take care of your needs and I believe you did that. In the future, before you use the "old" account, you might want to think about setting up your own account for your vehicle's needs. I don't think your h is going to be inclined to continue to pay your bills, especially if he's already giving you a monthly allowance, small as it is.
Sounds to me like he's only putting enough into that account now to pay the mortgage. Sorry it's getting tight when it comes to money w/him...but he's really trying to cut all ties and doesn't want to be responsible for any monetary things w/the family. Yes, he told his daughter to come to him if she needed money...but where's he going to get the money if wages are being garnished and he's got over due bills all over the place? When he told his daughter to come to him, most likely had money...but now reality is setting in and he is moving further into the replay tunnel of the "me, me, me" song.
You'll know when to advise your h that you've seen a lawyer and provided the info as requested. It's not a fun trip, but you have to do something to protect yourself and what's left of the assets. It's not what you wanted and I'm sorry that it's come to this. But, Ambivalent, when you get the financials settled, things may look a bit better and you'll know where you stand as to allowances, etc. Right now, it looks bleak, but it won't stay that way forever.
I know you don't want to lose the house, but you need to have a contingency plan in case you do have to move. We all have had to come up with different scenarios to help us if Plan A or B doesn't work. I would hate to see you caught unawares if something should happen down the pike.
I do hope that you are staying warm and your little fur babies are there w/you today. I'm glad your daughter is visiting and who knows...she may be able to offer up some support to you today.
Hang in there!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Job he isn't giving me an allowance. He never did anything with the account and routing number. There were crickets after I provided them.
My daughter and I focused on cleaning , cooking, and baking today.
I made a huge pot of chicken soup, and a vegan chili. Served it with multi grain bread, warmed in the oven. My daughter made a batch of vegan brownies...they were awful, we laughed about it. It wasn't her fault, it was the recipe ...YUCK!
Sister in law gave me some insight and was very loving. Both brothers were awesome tonight. Oldest daughter was herself.
Boy, he is textbook MLC. He has really pulled away from his family. For him and this family it is VERY odd. His family was truly deserted/abandoned. His father wrote a Dear Jane from Vietnam, and did NOT provide any money. She had to contact his C.O. and he was garnished immediately. Her father was a WWI and WWII Vet. A three star General. He was there on the black sands of Iwo Jima.
You know the famous photo of the three men raising the flag? Well I have original black and whites on the black sands. His grandfather and two other officers are in that photo, to the side. They were cropped out of the picture that everyone thinks is just the three men!
After my H's dad abandoned the family, they rallied and became extremely tight. The brothers especially.
My sis-in-law, youngest brother's wife, said her h. was just told two days ago. That my husband is being tight lipped and has pulled away. He is feeling bewildered. I shared with her that I still loved my H. and that he is hurting, confused, and struggling.
I did not want a divorce, but I have to protect myself and try and save the house.
She said if I needed anything or wanted to come out and just get a way, to let her know and to come on out.
We had a very nice evening, laughed , ate, had wine and dessert. We played another board game, and fun was had by all.
They have a lab, and I told them to bring him along. My five munchkins were such great hosts and hostesses! The lab felt right at home. At one point he was getting a bit distressed, it was his bedtime. You could tell he wanted to go upstairs and to sleep.
I went and got a huge duvet cover , threw it on the ground, and he was so happy to nest in it!
It felt really good having them here, and there were zero awkward moments.
Formerly Workinprogress H :55 M :over 29 yrs. Together : 33 D : college D : adult BD and left : May 2013 Separated Experimenting/Replay
I'm sorry that he didn't follow thru on the allowance. Well, that leaves you no choice but to use the joint account where the mortgage is setting. I do hope that you can get some of your legal issues resolved and finally get some support money in your account.
I'm glad to read that his family came out and everyone had a great time. All of you needed to sit down and have a chat and it sounds like they do understand and are being very supportive. Ambivalent, please do not hesitate to ask them for help. They've offered to help you...use them when you need support and/or assistance. They are family to you.
I do hope that you are feeling better and stronger as each day passes. It's not easy dealing w/the mlcer and the finances when they do not want to sit down and discuss things, be rather would prefer to communicate via text.
Take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
He just paid the mortgage, and propane. He hasn't kept me from the acct. yet. This Thursday will be the last, I'm sure.
The petitions for support and continues utilites, mortg. will be filed in the next 48 h-72 hrs.
I'm puzzled as to why he would have my daughter and I split 160.00 ? Odd.
Today is school, gym, and a bit of cleaning. I'm exhausted from last night. Even though pleasant, it was more stressful than I anticipated.
My daughter will be leaving soon, God I love her so much. I am so blessed and fortunate to have her. I don't how I will ever repay her kindness and love that she so willingly exudes from every pore.
Formerly Workinprogress H :55 M :over 29 yrs. Together : 33 D : college D : adult BD and left : May 2013 Separated Experimenting/Replay
Worked yesterday, a new facial gal. Had a certificate and of course the shop is closing. She booked a waxing with me ...drum roll please...at my house!!! Hoot! She will be my FIRST client .
So between now and next week , I have to clean, paint move the equipment in, and start planning.
I'm thinking Esthetically yours as a business card name.
Can't advertise, will be working on word of mouth.
Insurance came through...antique Persian I purchased for 950.00 appraised for....5,000.00 and the pie safe I purchased years ago for 750? Three grand!
I prayed and trusted, I guess this was the answer! Note to self, be VERY careful how I pray. Fire was not the answer for which I was hoping. But I'll take it.
Mother is already expecting, and this is tough. I am detached, or the rope is dropped whatever one wants to call it. Yes I occasionally think of him. No, I can't answer whether or not I would have him back in my life.
I guess because I really cried, vented, starved, felt EVERY emotion, it happened sooner than I thought. GAL SOES help.
I still force myself to do things, and recently have just said F it stay in, and enjoy the serenity while I still may. Soon enough my life will turn upside down again.
I don't know what he's doing , and here's a new one...I really don't care. WOW that liberating !
So today, gym, school clean...no excuses.
Formerly Workinprogress H :55 M :over 29 yrs. Together : 33 D : college D : adult BD and left : May 2013 Separated Experimenting/Replay
Ambivalent, Not being nosy, but won't you need a license to operate out of your home? You might want to check on that before lining up customers. Also, you'll need liability insurance, just in case someone sues you. I'm sure you've already thought of these things...but wanted to make sure you didn't forget them.
I'm glad the insurance came through, but please remember, it was marital property and he may ask for half of what you get back from the insurance company...I know, I know...he left...but there's no official paperwork and until things completely shake out...you never know what he may want or not want from the home.
Food for thought today and sorry if my thoughts bring you down, but I'm looking at things a bit differently and want to ensure that you are taken care of and don't make costly mistakes along the way.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
