Scott, I think F is on to something.

The first part of your post sounded like you taking responsibility for you.

The last part seemed passive/aggressive. Why not have a talk with her before?

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss