Thanks for that reminder about my W really needing to build my trust back.
I am having difficulty with telling her what I need in order for me to trust her. See I think her biggest complaint is that I didn't like her hanging out with her friends, especially male friend alone without me.
She has now built a live where she has many friends and hangs out with them a lot. Many are single male friends. She still doesn't involve me when she hangs out with them, but tells me that she is with other friends when with them (but I do believe there is some alone time as well)
I really fear that I need to aproach this carefully, because at this point I think she would chose friends over me. Not that I don't want her to have friends, but I feel that a certain level of respect for me would have her not hang out alone with male friends. I have told her this in the past and a few times we spoke while seperated.
I know that I need to set up some boundries in this area, but I fear at this point she is not comfortable enough in our M to do remain "in the boudries". I am really struggling with this, and that I believe is where my fear of not wanting to be with the new her comes from.
My hope at this point is that she will lessen this as we grow stronger in our M, but I also fear that me not clearly stating what I need for her to be trusted again will lead her to keep up the things that break my trust. Its kinda a catch-22.
Help with this would be great, at this point I think we need to address in MC rather than alone. But I know I can't control what she does, and she understands the effect it has on me. I just don't believe at this point she is too worried about my need to trust her.
God Bless You,
Reuben
Cautiously hopeful and keeping the Momentum
